Kids and Cell Phones

Cell Phone Features and Parental Controls

Start by considering what you’re okay with your kids doing on the phone. Is the phone just for family business? Will they need internet access? What kinds of apps will you let them download? Do you want to limit who they can contact — and who contacts them? Answering questions like these will help you choose the right kind of phone, features, and controls for your family. 

Choose the right phone 

Most phones offer features to help you monitor what your kids are doing online, see who they’re chatting with, and get alerts if they’re trying to access something you’ve decided is inappropriate. Phones made specifically for kids have features that automatically restrict things like internet browsers, external apps, and unknown contacts. Some even come with emergency buttons for parents, along with phone number privacy so your kid’s phone number stays private. Or you might pick a basic cell phone that doesn’t have “smart” features like web browsing, apps, location sharing. But even if you decide to go with regular cell phones for your kids, the phone’s built-in settings still let you set parental controls or download parental control apps.

Check out parental controls

Before handing over the phone, consider which parental controls will work best for your family — that means looking at what’s available both on the phone’s native parental control features and through third-party apps. Here are some settings to look for:

• Privacy and security settings. Look at both global privacy and security settings for each app on the phone. Each may have separate requirements to limit or block access to location sharing, media, and cameras. Some settings let you hide your kids’ profiles. 
• Screen time limits. These settings let you set limits on when your kids are allowed to use their phones, which apps and content they can access, and for how long.
• App downloads and in-app purchases. Some apps, games, music, and in-app purchases cost real money. Look for settings that let you disable downloading or purchasing features if you want your kids to get your permission first.
• Content filtering. Most phones and apps have settings that block sensitive or inappropriate content. These restrictions make it so your kids can only access age-appropriate content on their phones.
• Limited contact and chat settings. Check for restrictions in games and apps that would let your kids talk only to the people you’ve allowed.
• Family monitoring settings. Both Apple and Android offer features to manage parental control settings and permissions remotely. Also, check your phone’s app store to explore third-party parental control apps. Just make sure the app’s features are compatible with your phone’s settings.

Note: Your kids may try to find ways to get around parental controls or turn them off completely, so be ready to talk with them if they break the rules.

Get familiar with location services

Location tracking through Bluetooth, Global Positioning System (GPS), and Wi-Fi technology helps us do things like get directions, mobile order, find gas stations or stores nearby, access rideshare services, share your location with family and friends, and track other devices. But it doesn’t always make sense to share your location.

Talk with your kids about which phone functions and apps need access to their location and when it makes sense for them to share it. When it doesn’t make sense, help them turn off location sharing. Remind your kids to share their location only with friends they trust and know in person, and to not broadcast their location to the world, 24/7. 

Cell Phone Security and Privacy

Phones have value — and so does the personal information on them. Start a discussion with your kids about how to protect their phones and information from malware, scammers, and identity thieves. Not sure how to start the conversation? Here are some ideas:

Lock your phone

Set your kid’s phone to lock when they’re not using it. Create a PIN or passcode that’s at least six digits long so you and your kid can both unlock it. That way if the phone is lost or stolen, no one can access things like their photos, messages, and accounts. Alternatively, you could set up fingerprint recognition, retina scan, or facial recognition so your child can unlock the phone more easily.

Keep your software updated

Set your kid’s phone to update automatically to protect against new security threats. Software updates help make sure that your kid’s phone is working properly in case you need to contact them, or they need to contact you. Check for updates on the apps they use, too.

Check your privacy settings

Adjust the privacy settings so their phone, apps, and social media accounts are limited to only what you want them to see, access, and share. Strong privacy settings can help prevent your kid from posting or sharing private information with others. 

Cell Phone Rules

Once your kid has a cell phone, they can connect with friends anywhere, at any time. But there can be potential risks to their personal reputation and safety. Here are some ideas for how to talk with them about what’s okay and what’s not in your household.

Explain what you expect

Think about when and where your kids are allowed to use their phones. Will you let them take their phones to school? Are you okay with texting at the dinner table? Should they turn off their phones while they're doing homework or hand them over at bedtime? Set rules and boundaries with your kids early and be clear in your expectations. Kids are more likely to follow the rules if they understand what happens if they break them.

Your kids might have questions about your expectations or want to discuss adjusting them. Keep the lines of communication open and remember that what works at one age and stage might need to change as they mature.

Sharing and social media

Talk with your kids regularly to help them understand that what they share via text, chat apps, or social media could affect both their and other people’s privacy, now and in the future. Here’s some advice to consider giving them: 

• If you’re under 13, let’s talk about using social media. Sure, some kids lie about their age to get an account, but most platforms are only for people who are at least 13 years old.
• Never post personal information online — like your cell phone number or address. What you share could have a bigger “audience” than you think, especially on social media. Before you post, consider what could happen if that information ends up in the wrong hands.
• Think before you share photos, videos, and messages online — or you might overshare, embarrass yourself, mess up your phone, or possibly get messages from people you don’t know. Before you post something, ask yourself: “Would I want someone to stand up in the middle of lunchtime and share that photo or video with the entire cafeteria?” Once you post something online, you can’t take it back.

And let kids know you’re there to help if they have questions or don’t know what to do.

Don't stand for cyberbullying

Some kids use their phones to bully or harass others. Talk to your kids about treating others the same way they want to be treated. If it isn’t right to say in person, suggest they not to say it online. If they witness cyberbullying, encourage them to find safe ways become an upstander — someone who intervenes, interrupts, or speaks up to stop bullying. Let them know that cyberbullying is never okay — and that you’re there to help if something happens. If your kid or someone they know is being bullied, there are things you can do to help.

Set an example

Kids look to the adults in their lives to gauge how to use their phones. Model the cell phone rules you set as much as possible. Don’t want your kids texting during dinner? Try leaving your phone in another room. Want them to look up when someone needs their attention? Let them see you put your phone down to have a conversation. Looking to connect at a family game night? Make it a no-phone zone and have everyone put their phones in a box or set the phones to silent.

When kids are too invested in what’s on their phone screens, they might miss out on time with friends and family or even accidentally hurt themselves. Show them what it means to be aware of your surroundings. Bring up the dangers and consequences of distracted driving. Then, let them see you put your phone away before you put the car in drive.

Remember that kids, like adults, make mistakes. Sometimes kids just don’t know the right thing to say or do — and that’s the perfect time to communicate your expectations and help them make better choices next time. Offer support by talking through what happened and how to avoid it in the future.

Spot and avoid phishing scams

When your kids have access to a phone, it’s time to teach them about phishing scams and the risks involved with responding to them. Phishing is when someone sends you a text, email, private message, or pop-up message to get you to share personal or financial information. Your kid might be tempted to respond if a scammer promises a free gift — or asks them to verify account information. But things aren’t always what they seem.

Help your kids understand the dangers of sharing personal information and how scammers might contact them. If you get a phishing message, show it to them so they know what to look out for. Here are a few things you might say to help your kids spot and avoid phishing scams:

• Don’t reply to messages from people you don't know
• Never click on links or download attachments in unexpected messages
• Watch for spelling and grammar errors, which can tip you off to a scam
• Never give your family’s personal or financial information in response to an unexpected message
• If you think a text is spam, forward the text to 7726 (SPAM) to block similar messages
• Block unwanted numbers

Let your kids know that if they get a text and they’re not sure how to respond, you’ll be there to help.

Texting Versus Sexting

Texting etiquette

Texting can quickly lead to misunderstandings. Encourage your kids to be kind and respect others when they’re texting. Before they send a message, tell them to pause and ask themselves: “How will this message make other people feel? How would I feel if someone shares this message with other people?”

Sexting: Don’t do it

Creating and forwarding explicit photos, videos, or messages from a cell phone is known as "sexting." Tell your kids not to do it. In addition to risking their reputation and their friendships, they could be breaking the law if they create, forward, or even save this kind of message. Kids may be less likely to make a bad choice if they know the consequences.

Learn more at ftc.gov/KidsOnline