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Looking to start a new relationship? For some, that may mean meeting a new love interest online. Word to the wise: sometimes it’s best to lead with your head and not your heart.

Millions of Americans use dating sites, social networking sites, and chat rooms to meet people. And many forge successful relationships. But scammers also use these sites to meet potential victims. They create fake profiles to build online relationships, and eventually convince people to send money in the name of love.

The Federal Trade Commission receives thousands of reports each year about romance scammers who create fake online relationships only to steal their victims’ money.

Unfortunately, an online love interest who asks for money is almost certainly a scam artist.

The FTC’s new infographic, developed with the American Bankers Association Foundation, lists common signs of online dating scams and what to do if someone you meet online asks you for money.

Below are some tips to identify a real romance versus a scammer cruising for a target.

Online Dating Scams. Has an online love interest asked you for money? That's a scam. Scammers know millions of people use online dating sites. They are there, too, hiding behind fake profiles. Signs of a scam: Professes love quickly. Claims to be from the U.S., but is overseas for business or military service. Asks for money, and lures you off the dating site. Claims to need money — for emergencies, hospital bills, or travel. Plans to visit, but can’t because of an emergency. $220 million lost in 2016. $56 million lost in 2012. Reports to the FBI tripled over 5 years (4,476 reports in 2012; 14,546 reports in 2016) What to do: Slow down — and talk to someone you trust. Don’t let a scammer rush you. Never wire money, put money on a gift or cash reload card, or send cash to an online love interest. You won’t get it back. Contact your bank right away if you think you’ve sent money to a scammer. Report your experience to: • The online dating site • Federal Trade Commission: ftc.gov/complaint • Federal Bureau of Investigation: ic3.gov. Learn more at ftc.gov/imposters and aba.com/engagement

Please share this information with others. Victims may be embarrassed to talk about their experiences, but you can help. A simple phone call, email or text, saying “Look what I just found” and sharing this information may make a difference in someone else’s life.

Marlene
May 02, 2018

In reply to by JUSTME

Yes! It also seems like they’re always “engineers,” too.
Coco girl
September 24, 2018

In reply to by Marlene

Mine said he was a civil engineer. Took about two months to finally get me to feel comfortable. I told him I was a widow. He told me he was also a widower. Lost his wife two years prior to childbirth, they both died. He was left with two young children five, and seven. Professed his love to me, marriage, be the mother to his two children. He has pictures of himself and his two kids on his social media pages. I asked who takes care of the kids while you’re working, he says a nanny. Whenever I talk to him in the evening, I never heard the kids running around and playing. He always told me the kids are in their rooms play with their toys. That should’ve been a tip off to me right there. Then he Told me his Company got a bid for a big job. Said he paid for all the materials, set up the cargo plane information for shipping to Istanbul Turkey. The morning after he flew there, said that he had to take 50,000 to the airport so that the goods could be taken to the company. He called me that night told me he was heartbroken because with new Turkish laws he needed $18,000 tax fees more because he wasn’t a resident. He said that they would except $7000 to put a hold & secure the shipment. If not & if he didn’t pay in four days he would lose everything. He said he had a friend that he had done business with in the past that he was trying to contact & borrow the money from. Told me he got back to him and could only lend him $3000. He said that all he had with him was $2000. Then he asked is there anyway that I could send him $2000 and that he would pay it right back to me and that I could trust him. And I asked him right up front when he first started talking to me that I thought he was a scammer, we joked about it and got through it. I told him no I don’t have the money and he asked me why? (I told him when I met you I told you I didn’t have any money & if you’re trying to scam me you can stop contacting me). Then he asked me did I have any credit card and I said yeah and it’s almost maxed out ( I lies), he asked me by how much. I didn’t tell him and I asked him didn’t you bring any credit cards with you, he said no I didn’t and I feel so stupid about it. He said he would call me back in the morning when he figures things out. And then asked that I have anybody that I could borrow it from, and then he would promise to pay me back. First of all I’m not lending anybody any money, I don’t even lend family members money. Then I decided to go on this site and look at some of the comments and I am so glad that I didn’t fall for this. But the sad thing about it is I did fall for him. So people be aware !
Califree
September 29, 2018

In reply to by Coco girl

Hi, It sounds like we may have met the same guy. I am just figuring this out this morning as I sent him a Steam Card last night. He calls himself Peter and we met on POF. He told me his wife died in childbirth 3 years ago, but doesn't claim to have any other children. He has been so kind and romantic. Always asks about my day and whether I am stressed with work. He texts every morning and throughout the day and we talked by phone multiple times a day. He has sent me several pictures, and has salt/pepper hair (only a little gray), a beard and green eyes. We we supposed to meet right away, but he had to go to Nevada (where he says he grew up) due to his mom being sick. When he was due to come back this week he now has to go to Arizona for work. He claims to be a Contracting Engineer and also have an Interior Design firm. I don't know how I could have been so dumb. I am realizing it now and it sucks. This man has professed his love so many times and made me feel loved and special. He hasn't asked for anything else yet, but after reading all of the threads here I am guessing it is coming. I feel so stupid.
Dopydora
September 27, 2019

In reply to by Califree

I met a guy a year ago on Pof that sounds like your bloke. Went by the name of David Jones. Sent me pictures of places he had done the interior designs on including his home. Had a little black dog as a pet, a daughter that stayed with his mum while he worked. Very nice looking man. If i recall one of the pictures of him was in front of a bright orange wall. Lucky I never sent him anything
Tryme.go
October 30, 2019

In reply to by Marlene

Mine a female I feel alone here it seems they are all men and engineers! Am I the only fool that's a man? Just feels like it been reading this for days that's all I hear about
DivineLove
June 28, 2018

In reply to by JUSTME

I have similar experience. He found me on FB. I saw we have one mutual friend. He said his wife died 8byears ago and he had a hard life ever since....between losing his wife and his job. He has one son and his 17. His relatives are taking care of him because he is deployed in camp Lemmonier in Africa. This year he said will be his last in serving the country...he said his been in the army for 29 years. His the only surviving biological son of his late parents. He was so convincing....he spoke of God alot and quote the bible. He said so many right words....that his in love with me etc....this all started April 8 2018..then he told me of his busines plan aboit consignment and gold bars....that he needed an address to move ith boxes to US...I couldnt believe what I was hearing. I got cinfused because at that point I had feelungs with him. I told me I cant guve him my address or anyones address....sobtuen he apologuze for getting me involved. That he shouldn't have asked. So i orayed to God ro show me signs because I was so confused and heart broken. I couldn't accept and let him go....yesterday he told me his stressed out about tue dealing with hus consignment. He said the manager asked for $7800 dollars to cover shipping... Documents and sime othe carp. That he had his friends help him with sime money....he collecetd $4800 from them and is short of $2200 so if i can lend him that he will pay me back i told him i dont have that kind of money. I rold him i will het him the money if he sends me his recent photos and video of himself saying my name....he made up an excuse that he had sent me pictures and videos already. When it comes to money i dont lend people money....not even my close friend....not that amount....i will only lend up to twenty dollars.
Sandstar66
February 02, 2018

In reply to by Elle

Elle, sounds as if we came across the same scammer... Wow, incredible! He asked me for $4560 to complete his contract to his lawyer. He has sent me so many lovely email which I have printed. He was a widower his wife died of lung cancer, his son lives with his mother etc... I didn’t fall for this creep. Thank God! I truly hope you didn’t either.
StopTyler
April 10, 2018

In reply to by Elle

This is so eerily identical to a situation I just went through with a man claiming he made $750,000 a year. Said he was from Florida (we matched online in DC) and he used a 321 number. He refused to meet me unless I gave him passwords and told him how much money I had in my bank account. Ridiculous.
China doll
May 05, 2018

In reply to by Elle

This scammer who you talk about tried to scam me but did not have no luck. I do feel so very sad for what everyone on here as gone through. The name of my scammer was Michael Austin. He said that he was in Aleppo Syria as a Neurologist. And that his wife died six years ago. He also said he had a 14 year old son in college and a27 year old in Afghanistan. That's when I started to realize this is a scam. He kept on emailing me and sending me messages on hangouts. Then he started asking me about applying to the UN for his vacation leave. I blocked him he still emails me but I do not reply to them. I do believe that a lot more should be done about.
FTC Staff
May 14, 2018

In reply to by China doll

You can report a scam to the FTC at FTC.gov/Complaint. The information you give will go into a secure database that law enforcement uses for investigations. The comments you put here on the blog don’t go into the law enforcement database.

Anon4life
February 01, 2018
Scammers share your info with other Scammers to suck out what they can from you.
Marys
February 02, 2018

In reply to by Anon4life

Yes I lost 7.500 euro to help a romance scammer like a stupid i never knew this problem so he has obtained all he asked from me telling he was very in love with me I cannot think about this thing now
JUSTME
February 05, 2018

In reply to by Marys

Hi, I clearly understands exactly where you are coming from. I have lost thousands of dollars to an online love, hard life lesson learned!!!!!

Sister scammed
February 01, 2018
My Sister committed suicide after being scammed out of her savings. I can't imagine the shame and desperation she felt. My only solice is knowing scammers have a special place waiting for them to spend eternity
Stupid
February 01, 2018
What if someone is asking you to register a name for a business in your name? Is this a scammer?
Zoe1329
February 03, 2018

In reply to by Stupid

Yes , absolutely. It can land you in soooo much trouble . Avoid itc
marina52
February 02, 2018

I lost my money to fraudsters, but did not receive a letter from Western Union. I think I told you this when you posted about western union. I try with a registered letter to the address specified by you.Hoffe my letter will also accept. Thank you

FTC Staff
February 02, 2018

In reply to by marina52

If you want to ask for money back from Western Union, you must file a claim on the claim website. A registered letter is not a claim. 

You must file a claim by May 31, 2018. 

Go to FTC.gov/WU to start filing a claim. Click the orange button near the top of the page. Then click again at the next page. You will be connected to the claim website.

Yep
February 02, 2018
Very pertinent...I believe this is happening to me right now...I've had misgivings, but now I'm pretty sure after reading this! Thank you!
lkmyers318
February 04, 2018

In reply to by Yep

they feed on the feeling of shame associated with being scammed
This is me
February 02, 2018
Getting scammed right now, I think. Thank you for the pertinent article...
Zebarche
February 02, 2018
One scammer got me from LinkedIn. They are everywhere obviously and become more trickier.
Thinker2
April 08, 2018

In reply to by Zebarche

What is his/her name. I think I am dealing with one right now. Not sure.
Rusty
February 02, 2018
More wide spread warnings about these scams would help a detected colon in a local newspaper and local TV channels
Zoe1329
February 03, 2018
My instagram acct is private yet I receive follow request , generally refuse but recently I accepted one from a guy called Logan, a widower!! They all seem to be widowers , with 2 kids. I told him from start I was not looking for romance, even then the hints would go on and in les than two weeks his kids needed to go on excursion, he was stuck on an oul rig , his contract was not paid,,, etc. He did not ask outright but signs werecthere so that was enough for me. Unfollow , remove , block ,,,
lkmyers318
February 04, 2018
think I am being scammed - better to be safe than sorry I guess. Profedd love, then told me widower, 2 sons, is looking for that one woman, close relationship with God. Works Offshore. Petroleum engineer - has asked for small amount of money. I have none to send, thank goodness. He sent roses and a diamond ring.
JUSTME
February 05, 2018

In reply to by lkmyers318

YES, ABSOLUTELY, IT'S A SCAMMED!!! THEY ARE ALWAYS A WIDOWER, AN ENGINEER AND COMES WITH KIDS AND BEGGING FOR MONEY!!!!
Learnt the har…
February 05, 2018

In reply to by lkmyers318

I was a victim of a scammer from Facebook in 2013. If they come across as too sweet, profess love too quickly, are widowed, business men, wife died from cancer of some sort, one child, not much information on their profile, then it is too good to be true. Their location changes fast. They are from the States but are going to another country to work on contract. In my case, Malaysia. Everything is going smoothly for a few days and then all the sob stories start. Taxes on the land have to be paid, they forgot their credit card, son in the States met in a serious accident, then they had a fall, passport expired, tractors not working, pleas for help all the time, they are going to be arrested because their passport has expired and on and on and on. This scammer went by the name Mike Smith, within a week changed it to Mike Smith William. Location changed also from UK to Portland, Oregon. I got suspicious. He had facts to bolster my suspicions. Played upon my sympathy, destroyed me financially, emotionally, I got sick. My son got suspicious and deleted him and questioned me. I was defiant. Now anyone who sends me a friend request if I think they are fake, I automatically delete them. Have had two others try to latch on to me after but I wasn't blind. One revealed himself eventually from Nigeria. Neither got a dime from me. I deleted them. I got burnt but it will never happen to me again. A real good man will never think to ask a woman for money.
Jennylu
February 04, 2018
I have a friend who has been involved with "Mark" for over 6 months now. She has sent thousands to him; he comes up with excuses as to why he can't meet her. He's supposed to be working out of Dubai, but was to go to Hawaii with her in Nov. Of course, he was in a car accident and he's STILL in the hospital as of this date!! (Yeah, right!!) They were to cruise in Australia the end of Dec. and that never happened. This doesn't seem to phase her one bit! She keeps sending $$$! :-( We have talked to her and explained that he is a scam (her second one at that!) but she refuses to believe us..even after reading that all the things he's saying and doing are huge red flags!! What can we do to save her from herself???!!! Help!!
FTC Staff
February 05, 2018

In reply to by Jennylu

You may want to show her some comments that other people have posted on this blog about their experiences. Or, you could show her some information from the FBI. The FBI has articles on its website about romance scammers. The articles list warning signs of a scam.

It's useful to let people know they are sending money to a criminal. People who send money to someone they meet online might not realize that at first. When they understand that they are helping a criminal by giving him money, it can change their perspective.

Smoothly Scammed
February 05, 2018
I am ending a scam "relationship" in which I truly believed him. I'm out several hundreds of dollars in iTunes cards,for his cell phone. I learned that ITunes can't be used for phones!
JUSTME
February 09, 2018

In reply to by Smoothly Scammed

EASIER SAID THAN DONE, BUT DON'T FEEL SO BAD BECAUSE I DID THE SAME THING!!!! I LOST THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS, GOT LOANS IN MY NAME TO HELP HIM OUT, HE WAS SUPPOSED TO PAY ME BACK AND I HAVE NOT SEEN A CENT OF IT. I AM NOT FILING FOR BANKRUPTCY!!! I HAVE LEARNED A HARD LIFE LESSON, NOT TO FALL EMOTIONALLY IN LOVE WITH A MAN, I HAVE NOT MET FACE TO FACE AND FORMED A RELATIONSHIP, SOMEONE WHO LIVES HERE IN MY HOMETOWN, NOT IN ANOTHER COUNTRY, AND NEVER SEES HIM, NOT KNOWING WHO YOU ARE EMOTIONALLY FALLING FOR AND BEING LIED TOO!!!!!

JUSTME
February 09, 2018

In reply to by Smoothly Scammed

CORRECTION, AS I HAVE LEARNED FROM READING OTHER ARTICLES... IT'S NOT SCAM RELATIONSHIP, IT IS CALLED... "CON-RELATIONSHIP!!!!! WE HAVE ALL BEEN CONNED BY A SCAMMER!!!!!!!

Cdtampa
March 20, 2018

In reply to by Smoothly Scammed

Yes iTunes can be used for phones iphones. Apple makes them honey
sadandlost
February 06, 2018
Bridgett is there anyway possible to verify a shipping of Gold Bars for. James Hudson in Dubai. I have been helping him with shipping costs and I am so scared that now it’s been a scam. The shipping company is Flagstarexpress express. I know they have several locations in Dubai. New York . Please help me. You can reach me at My name is Ruby and I have sent a lot of money. I just want confirmation that’s all nothing else. Please help me.
FTC Staff
February 06, 2018

In reply to by sadandlost

You can contact the Attorney General in New York to ask about the business. You could ask the person you're talking to for more information about the business. You can stop sending money and block communication.

If you gave personal information or your bank or credit card information to someone and you're worried it isn't safe, you can protect yourself. Contact your bank and credit card company and ask how to protect your accounts. Read these warning signs of identity theft and if you notice clues that someone is mis-using your information, report that at IdentityTheft.gov

Leroy
February 08, 2018

In reply to by sadandlost

This idiot scammed my not so bright cousin out of thousands. She lost everything including her life because she did not have money for her medication. SHE SENT IT ALL TO HIM! He brother let her live in a house of his rent free so she would have some money for groceries.
Miracleshappening
March 08, 2018

In reply to by sadandlost

Hi Ruby, Being scammed is a hard thing to come to terms with. There's a part of us that want to believe in the person. I didn't listen to my friends and family and have lost so much. I also wanted confirmation, an address, hospital bills, etc. and I never saw any. These people suck you in so deep that it's hard to get out of and they lead you to believe that you will get it all back. Please don't be afraid it is a scam just stop sending money and help if it goes against your heart. I put this in God's hands and pray for Divine Justice, Forgiveness, and Salvation for everyone.
Grandmaofabz
February 06, 2018
I was scammed out of over $38,000 first off he hacked a friend of mine's Facebook page and I believe he was my friend I even asked him a personal question which he answered! I was then led to believe that he (my friend) got a grant from this person and he wanted to know if I wanted to try and see if I could get one after many questions and the verification I decided to try it $1,950 into that I realized the guy was a scammer and I blocked him, my friend had since disappeared off Facebook totally . A couple months later I decided I wanted to give the guy another piece of my mind and I unblocked him and sent him a message and he messaged back thanking me stating that he had changed that I had changed him somehow and that he was trying to redeem himself. I didn't believe him but after talking with him for a while and by that I mean about 2 months I decided to give him a chance to prove himself and allowed him to pay one of my credit cards off that I had maxed out for him and for over a month and a half the payment was good I then started believing him and his story he told me he had told his dad about me and everything I asked him if he was a spoiled little rich boy and he said yes and that his dad had grounded him and took away his car only he wasn't so young he was about my age I believed him and started helping him to the tune of 38 plus thousand dollars then the reversals started coming every payment he made has been reversed my cards have been shut down my bank accounts being shut down yes my heart got broke and yes my life is screwed up yes I'm mad and I want everybody to know this guy was good he even told me his real name even sent me a copy of his driver's license he started out as James Weer and ended up as Hodge West Polochak. He has a Google number therefore it's not traceable even has a Google email that says it's not good but yet I've emailed it
FTC Staff
February 06, 2018

In reply to by Grandmaofabz

If you used a wire transfer business to send money to the scammer, you could report him. Call the Western Union Fraud Hotline at 800-448-1492 or the MoneyGram Customer Care Center at 1‑800‑926‑9400. You could report him to Facebook. 

KingLeo
November 09, 2018

In reply to by FTC Staff

Thanks Bridget Small. I am new to this blog. I have recently sent $2800.00 to one individual to help another individual, both located in South Africa. The wire transfer was from one US bank to another US bank. Should I report this to both US banks. I have learned new information about these individuals that doesn’t add up and I believed I have been scammed. Please advise.
FTC Staff
November 27, 2018

In reply to by KingLeo

Yes, you could contact both banks and explain what happened. You can also report to the FTC at www.FTC.gov/Complaint. The information you give the FTC goes into a secure database that the FTC and other law enforcement agencies use for investigations.

Pud1950
June 17, 2018

In reply to by Grandmaofabz

Exact same thing happened on Facebook, this person must have stolen information from a person from my hometown, same thing , asked me to send friend request after telling me she got a 250000.00 grant. SCAMMERS
Dina
February 06, 2018

Hello everybody, Do you know love website safe please? I Loved woman an online we was talking videos everyday almost for more 2 years a go, she said she's Sargent in U.S. military and she said she makes to me my papers to lives with her in U.S. I sent to her money also... just last week I see her pics. She was in Jail.. & she's liar about me. she's not Sargent in U.S. military. She's big liar..

NorahT1
February 06, 2018
I’m a victim of online romance scammer via Instagram. Because of his persistence, persuasiveness I was lured into sending him via WU $10,000 from October - November 2017. He told me due to working on ship he had no way to help his 15 year old son with school fees, good, clothes, etc in Nigeria school. May I file a claim to get my money back via WU refund process?
FTC Staff
February 06, 2018

In reply to by NorahT1

The FTC settlement with Western Union allows people to file a claim if they sent money to a scammer between January 1, 2004 and January 19, 2017If you sent money outside those dates, you are not eligible to file a claim.

Miracleshappening
March 08, 2018

In reply to by NorahT1

Once the money is gone the likelihood of its retrieval even with WU is unlikely. You may want to report it to help shut down the ring. I surrender all of this in God's hands and pray that you receive miracles out of this experience! God bless you!
BewareofAdamSc…
February 06, 2018
Beware of a Army romance scammer names Adam Scott Sprain. I was seduced by this scammer beginning 1/26/18. His poorly photoshopped Army ID and suspicious FB profile were red flags, so I played along and he asked me to Western Union or Moneygram him $400 (to a friend of his commanders with the name Moreno Patrick Mofokeng) so he could come and visit me before his tour was over in 3 months. He said he would videochat me from the airport. I confirmed with a woman who had "liked" one of his Facebook pictures that he is a scammer and reported him to the FTC and the FBI and Facebook. SHe said she had sent him money and reported to Facebook but they hadn't taken down his profile yet. Every military person has a mailing address (APO) no mailing address? It's a scam.
Headovrheart
February 07, 2018
How can you find a list of names for scammers? I met this person on a dating site and we have been talking on the phone for weeks. He went to to another country to work for two weeks but my head is telling me its a scam. But where he says he lives is very close to me.