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It’s Valentine’s Day and love is in the air. You may think you spend a lot on flowers or chocolate, but losing money in a romance scam would cost you even more. Last year, people reported losing $143 million to romance scams – a higher total than for any other type of scam reported to the FTC. And, according to a new FTC Data Spotlight, reports of romance scams are on the rise.

What do we mean by romance scams? We’re not talking about the person you thought was “the one” but ended up being a dud. We’re talking about people you meet online, who lavish you with attention … and then ask for money. Usually they want the money by wire transfer or gift card. They might claim they need it for a medical emergency or to come visit you. Then they take your money, but there’s no surgery and no trip.

Romance scammers are hard at work wooing people on dating apps and social media. They may lift photos to create an attractive profile or even steal the identity of a real person. Just like with real romances, it may take them some time to gain your trust, but the scammer’s payoff can be big. Last year, people reported a median loss of $2,600 from romance scams.

How can you avoid romance scams?

  • Never send money or gifts to a sweetheart you haven’t met in person.
  • Take it slowly. Ask questions and look for inconsistent answers. Check the person’s photo using your search engine’s “search by image” feature. If the same picture shows up with a different name, that’s a red flag.
  • Talk to someone about this new love interest. And pay attention if your friends or family are concerned.
  • If you suspect a romance scam, cut off contact right away. Then, report to the scam to the FTC at ftc.gov/complaint. Notify the dating site where you met the scammer, too.

For more information, read Online Dating Scams or watch this video:

 

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Unwanted Calls, Emails, and Texts
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Ordinaryldy
February 06, 2020

In reply to by grrrandma

Hi. I met a man similar on pof. Same story. Skyped me with weird video but can't hear voice so he sends texts. Got me to meet the daughter on Skype. Same deal word for word. Asked to call me Mum on first conversation. Is the name James?
Rockie53
August 11, 2019

In reply to by Frankie

I've noticed the same thing on Words with Friends. They are more interested in chatting than in playing, and they very quickly think I am 'special' and want to get to know me better. English grammar is usually very awkward, and though they are American, they nearly always to be from one state, living in another state, but currently working overseas somewhere. I've had they ask me to chat on HangOut or What's App, both of which are International chat sites. Recently, one started right up front telling me he had a short-term financial problem and needed a load. When I told him I didn't have money to send him, the told me the beauty of it was that it only involved gift cards! BIG RED FLAG!! I told him NO!, reported him to WWF and resigned the game. I noticed he was gone from the game and from FaceBook within a matter of a minute or two! Another common thread is that they are with the US Military, or are a doctor with a UN Peace-Keeping mission, usually somewhere in the Middle East. And they are always widowed or divorced, with young kids.
reba
August 19, 2019

In reply to by Frankie

I too have had conversations with someone who is a widower & has three grandchildren. He needed money to get more access to phone or computer capabilities? Gets very mad when I mentioned being a scammer. Professes his love, we’ll have a new life when he returns from Sea?? Met on hangouts??
s
November 05, 2019

In reply to by reba

I was talking to a guy called Tyler Bailey and he also was sweet talking me after a couple of weeks he wanted money for he’s apps updates I met him on hangout he said he is in the military scammer
Pat-g
June 09, 2020

In reply to by Frankie

Bet I met the same man but he was a widower with money. Not looking for love just campanionship and help with his 2 children.
Lexulous word player
March 10, 2021

In reply to by Frankie

Did he call himself Mark and say he was an orthopaedic surgeon in Yemen? If so he wa s asking me way too many personal questions in the chat on Lexulous, so I told him he was too nosey.
Chicabr
February 12, 2019
I have also been contacted on Facebook for friend request, unknown to me. Their profile is new and lacks information. Mine used someone else's pictures, even a video he doctored to seem he was taking to me. I knew from the start what he was but had fun jerking him along.
Never a sucker
February 21, 2019

In reply to by Chicabr

My rule is that if I don't know the person then they can not be my FB friend. Sure I only have 45 FB friends, but know them all. Delete all other requests.
Elle
April 23, 2019

In reply to by Never a sucker

You’re spot on Never a Sucker! My rule is this: Do not accept friend requests from anyone you wouldn’t at least speak to while you’re both shopping in the same store. This means that even people with whom I may have 155 mutual friends get declined on my FB page. If in doubt, I do not accept nor decline their request. I simply send the person a private message apologizing that I am having trouble remembering how we know each other and ask the person to remind me. 90% of the time, I never get a response. Interestingly, I’ve had people with whom I have several mutual friends get upset when I explain to them that I don’t accept requests from ANYONE whose existence I was not aware of prior to their Friend Request! Same thing on Instagram as well as Twitter. I’ve found that the best way to keep the “sketchy” folks out of your social media accounts is to use the highest security setting available. ALL accounts should require that YOU individually screen the follower/friend request, so you can accept or decline or your own terms. The security on my Facebook account is so high that if you and I don’t have any mutual friends, you cannot even attempt to friend me. I friend not on Social Media introduced me to a friend of hers two states away. Because we had no mutual friends on FB, and we both use the same high security setting, neither of our accounts allowed us to become friends. I opted to remove my security settings long enough to “become FB friends.” Then, I was distracted and didn’t go back to FB until the next day. Within 12 hours, an man who fit the bill as a potential scammer sent me a friend request. I reported his request to FB as sketchy which automatically blocked him from my account. Also, as a victim of ID fraud offline, I was given several tips (or orders really) by law enforcement as to how to keep my Social Media safer. *Do Not include your birthday. That’s an identifying piece of info hard to find if it’s not on FB... even if only available for your friends to see. *Do Not List your mother or her brothers or her parents as a “family member” unless you’re sure doing so will not make your mother’s maiden name available anywhere on FB. *Don’t use any words or numbers in ANY password that could be found in your FB profile or even just a post or reply. Pics of your kid eating cupcakes at school for his bday... means you can NEVER use any variation of the numbers included in the birthday in passwords. Mentioning your grandchild, niece or even animal by name also put all of those off limits for ANY password. *Finally, do not accept friend requests from anyone because you’re in so many of the same FB Groups, ie Nascar, GOT, Your Alma Mater, Mommy groups. Though seeing their name often on posts w/in the group may make them seem familiar, never forget they are just as much a stranger as anyone else!
Brodiesmum
August 03, 2019

In reply to by Chicabr

I did the same thing. And he was a bit miffed when I told him I was on to him all along. Very naughty! Hahaha In response, I said that I was sorry that he had to do this for a living because it was in direct opposition to the teaching of God. Then I blessed him and his family.
Zoey350z
February 12, 2019
I’ve been scammed out of about $200,000, lost all access to get a bank account, credit cards are out of the question!!! I’ve lost my dignity, self worth and truly wish I was dead!!! I’d rather lose my life than my integrity. THERE NEEDS TO BE A PLACE TO POST THESE FRAUDS. HOW THEY DID IT KNON EMAIL ADDRESSES AND ANYTHING ELSE. ONE THAT DOESNT COST ANYTHING. There are tons of Americans who have lost everything to these thieves yet no one in the government seems to care. I will never trust another person ever again!!! Maybe a place where others got in the same situation, share our stories, and support. Plus maybe someone already knows of a site like this. But I’ve only run across paid sites that do nothing. HELP!!!
Wonthappenagain
June 19, 2019

In reply to by Zoey350z

Zoey A lot of us were looking for love and got scammed and heart broken. But is there any way to get our money back that you have heard of ??? Does anybody know if we can get our money back from a romance scam ???
Mrkshzmkzrk
November 06, 2019

In reply to by Wonthappenagain

That’s what I’m interested in knowing too. Lost a lot of money to a scammer recently.
Luckygenius1
October 12, 2020

In reply to by Mrkshzmkzrk

Got scammed last year and this year from same guy claiming to be a doctor from the USA but working in turkey and now in Germany .. His English is good . Very charming , sweet talks and knows how to make something so real ... When he gets what he wants he will stop texting and talking .
TheShor339
June 24, 2019

In reply to by Zoey350z

Zoey350Z. I'm sorry to hear of this. I came to this site looking for advice to get my mother to quit sending money to a scammer. She has nothing left and still looking for ways to send him money. I do not know what to do. We have shown her how it works, how his photos are all over the internet, showed her other stories with the same exact scam (I'm in Malaysia, an engineer, can't get out of the country) and she's been doing this now for a couple years. The police say they can't do anything because she's sending it of her own free will. She won't quit. It's all about him.
Heartbroken
October 30, 2019

In reply to by TheShor339

This sounds exactly like the guy I have been chatting with who is stuck in Malaysia. What name is he going by?
Rosie
August 31, 2019

In reply to by Zoey350z

I'm sorry to hear of your story, Zoey. I just found out myself that I got scammed from someone I encountered on dating site called OurTime.com. The scammer goes by the name of Frederick Boyd. He said he is from Houston, TX and told me he has a teenage daughter who attends school in Geneva, Switzerland. He said he divorced his wife in 2011 as she was into drugs and alcohol, and that she dies in 2013. I fell for the scam as I was trying to get back the money I loaned him. He as well started off by asking me to buy ITune cards after him and his daughter went to South Africa on a business trip. He supposedly is a contract engineer who is self employed and 62 years old born 11/29/1956. Well, after that more stories followed. While in South Africa his daughter got sick from contaminated water, and ended up taking her to the hospital. He demanded help to pay for the hospital bill so his daughter could be released. After that he was attacked while in South Africa, and $1800 was stolen from him, and asked to have me replace the funds. After that needed more money to pay for the legal fees after family from an employee on his job got injured. He said he had to look for a good lawyer while in South Africa. Than, when he finally made it home to Texas, more money was needed to pay $10,000 as an allowance to enter the country as he had someone get on the phone notifying me that he is being detained at the Dallas airport. Now I know it was phony. He than told me he was a Swiss citizen. He than needed his passport renewed at the cost of $8200. While all this was going on I was waiting to get paid, and getting upset as I was not getting paid but racking up debt while trying to help this jerk raise the money he needed so I can get paid. What I have learned and read is that these scammers do this for living, and entice the victim into believing their scenario to coax the victim into their little scheme while attempting to gain money. I also paid the price about $80,000 in losses while have some debt. This jerk stopped contacting me on 8/13/2018. I knew something was up as I checked the Dallas and Houston airports, and no person by this name in Customs. I checked and sent a copy of the his Swiss passport to the Swiss Embassy in Atlanta, GA, and I was than told that it was a fake, and a bad one. Than reality hit me, and what I did to myself trying to get back my money. I cried, and got angry. Now I can't communicate to this dumb jerk as the phone is off, and the texting done with, and his gmail account is down. So, I want to tell everyone who reads this that to be cautious. I did report this to the FBI Crime Bureau where you fill out the form with every detail you have. I also contacted OurTime.com and reported him. They are having their security check on this. I also notified the Federal Trade Commission in Illinois where I reside. I still feel shaken by what happened. I just retired from my job at 59 and now have to find work again. I think if we all stay together and notify one another, and authorities than maybe we can try to get these criminals caught. I did read recently that several Nigerian men were arrested after being found to scam over millions of dollars from women. So it can be done. Let's stick together, and pass on as much information as we can. Everyone stay safe, and God Bless.
CeCe
September 10, 2019

In reply to by Zoey350z

I agree with you completely, we need a place to post everything that has happened to us so we can compare and hunt these people down.
Ccfj
February 18, 2020

In reply to by CeCe

I too was a victim only this one claimed he was a soldier in Afghanistan based in Kabul. He said that a friend of his referred him to ourtime.com he was deployed there from fort bliss. Has been there for 4 months in special operations unit with NATO. He went by the name of Stephen a Lewis said he was born in Italy Milan. I was Interested because I too have a son that just came home from the military that was station in fort bliss. So Icould relate to his loneliness. He said he had a daughter named Linda. 1 sister didn't give her name. His wife had died 5 years ago from cancer. He convinced me to give him my personal email so we can talk more privately, also asked for my phone number so we can chat via text cause it was better. He managed to convince me to go on hangout because we can chat better he wasn't good in typing on small text on his phone, plus we can video chat which never happened. He started asking questions about me my strengths my weakness He said he was looking for someone he can trust he had been cheated on and just couldn't trust anybody anymore. He told me lots of personal things about his daughter, sister, and about himself. After he got my trust he tells has a secret he's been keeping to himself for a while, and needed to get off his chest. I was the only one he can trust, he said he had a flash drive which contain information about his superior that his life was In danger. If they find it, mine was too if they knew, I knew about the flash drive. Then he said he needed to send it to me to keep for him to keep him safe and me safe. He asked me for my address. I didn't give it. He told me that another soldier told him he's good friends with a diplomat and he can send it to me, but he needed money to send it. Of course I didn't fall for that, told him I did have any money. He was angry with me, but continued to keep in touch. Then Christmas eve he comes with another lie about the flash drive. This time he's going on a mission packed his bag, but because he was talking to me he left it behind by mistake another soldier found it and turned it in to his superior. When he came back he was called by his superior and questions were ask about what were the contents on the flash drive. He said he told him it was private pictures of me his fiancee lol. He said his superior didn't want to give it back unless he did a favor for him, help him buy his shares back then he would give it back. He asked if I would be his representative for the deal I said no to give me 3 reasons why I should boy did he get me I felt so sorry I fell for the con. He had me to co tact a lawyer his superior referred. I contact the so called lawyer who sent me some contracts which were phoney stupid me signed them as his rep. I got suspicious started asking questions he couldn't answer by now I knew it was a scam reported it to the dating site. I took other security measures to protect myself. This guy was good I mean very good spelling was excellent periods punctuation in the right place. Just what out never trust anyone saying there are a solder over seas.
Chris
September 24, 2019

In reply to by Zoey350z

I am in the same boat! I feel the exact same way! After 6 months of communicating with "sergeant allen hugo kirschner" I realized he had been doing this scam with others since at least 2012! I did a reverse image lookup and found he him on multiple dating sites. I thought I was smart and could pick up on this kind of b.s. but apparently not!
Ocean
October 07, 2019

In reply to by Chris

Hi. How did you do the image search? I tried google but only gave me general images like other people selfies or military
Mrkshzmkzrk
November 06, 2019

In reply to by Zoey350z

I have been a victim as well and know exactly how you feel. Does anyone ever get their money back?
Mrkshzmkzrk
November 09, 2019

In reply to by Zoey350z

I have been a victim as well and know exactly how you feel. Does anyone ever get their money back? Did your guy address you as queen?
Pat-g
June 09, 2020

In reply to by Zoey350z

God bless your heart. I have lost close to 50,000.00 intials are JAR. I s this you scammer. This guy is beautiful. I am a lonely woman and needed to feel again.
Luckygenius1
June 22, 2020

In reply to by Zoey350z

I lost almost 9,000 in romance scam. He was a sweet talker , charming and pretended to be a man of God... I was so in love with him . Promised me to be with me and to pay me back all the money I have wired him to come back to the USA. He left me heartbroken and my bank account empty and closed . I was very sad that I don’t want to continue living this life ...
Ballerina 5
February 11, 2021

In reply to by Luckygenius1

Hello there. Please don't give up. Just hold on. I am sorry for you. I also lost some money to a man i fel in love with. About 2000 dollars. The last i had. He still wants more, he says, for Celebrity fund, he won't get it, as I haven't got more. So now he is not writing to me anymore. Well, I have to get back to my normal life again. Its tough...
Stung
February 12, 2019
People dont people that they are psychopaths. They dont care about how devoted you end up, they keep their eye on the prize & you're not it. It's the money. They start "grooming" you the minute you say hi. They are undercover manipulators and they are good at it. Most people don't know that they are second, third or fourth generation fraudsters. They can also work in groups. They are trained also.
dcf18
February 12, 2019
Do romance scammers use ask for gift cards for places like Amazon frequently??
tvm1958
April 29, 2019

In reply to by Don't use your…

My brother has women scamming him all the time wanting $100 so they can come see him. They want it on an Amazon card. He is lonely and vulnerable so he sends it to them. Now he is in a financial mess. There has got to be some way to stop these predators.
Pete H
March 03, 2019

In reply to by dcf18

They absolutely will. Really, they'll ask for anything they think the mark will go for. The worst of them (and, sadly, the most successful) will try to find the mark's "weakness." Music lover? iTunes gift card. Early tech adopter? They might try something like Bitcoin. That's part of the point of the grooming: to find the mark's soft spots.
Frank
March 11, 2019

In reply to by dcf18

I know a online dater thst i met online she says she in lagos Nigeria. I have been giving her money we talked on the phone for a small time in all i giving her gify card and wired money money gram disallowed ther service and wouldnt reveal the reason the pics are pretty but she doesnt sends them wxactly what i asked and usees her belief to be readon im sure im being scammed she wants money to come here i have dailed myself esteem ridiculously and hope i could awaken or wisen up from this foolish nonsensense .
Rosie
April 29, 2019

In reply to by dcf18

I have been chatting with a very handsome man widower, son in boarding school in Canada, love letters that will melt your heart, all the right words, he needed money for UN vacation . All the right words, love and want to be with me.. He wants this now, telling me to get Amazon card or Apple card, he got mad because I didn't do what he said, I told him this relationship is ending and why in a long chat. He has a lovely voice. Yes, they know how to manipulate you.
SPRINGFLOWER
May 23, 2019

In reply to by dcf18

YES they do I have spent so much on those cards I can't tell you how much I just didn't think about it till I started reading about gift card scams
Ilovnascar
July 17, 2019

In reply to by dcf18

They ask for Amazon cards, then ask you to put money on it. Don't do it.
felisareciojdll
February 13, 2019
Thank you for this information.
Shiloh
February 18, 2019

In reply to by felisareciojdll

yes they use Amazon ,I tunes Googleplay, and stream,
P.J.
February 12, 2019
I think it's strange to meet people this way in the first place. People always met in person before the internet. And yet I know happily married people who met this way. I think the more scams that come up, the fewer people will meet this way.
zorannaz38__9
February 12, 2019
I have been getting these adult sites every day. I put them in my spam. I know they're a fraud. At the end of each day I have as much as 53 in my spam. I tried to unsubscribe but that cause a worse problem. I have no idea how to ride these people. Some actually believe I have a Facebook account. Of which I don't. Spdate is one that sends me over really nasty things. I hope someone coming help, but people all say they receive the same junk and just put them in spam....
Skyrimmer
February 16, 2019

In reply to by zorannaz38__9

Is there a way to block emails on your email server? If there is, you can set blocks on these things and they will be dumped into your email's trash setting automatically and you won't have to look at them again.
Peaseandcarrots
April 03, 2019

In reply to by zorannaz38__9

I’m happily married, and not on dating sites, but many online scammers use the same techniques. The unsubscribe button is one of the worst things to click. It often is just a tool that they use to verify that yours is an active email address. Clicking it tells them there’s a live person on the other end to harass, then they really focus their scamming efforts on you. They often have multiple email addresses or other websites that they then inundate your inbox from with hundreds of messages from sites you’ve never even visited and on it goes. I never hit unsubscribe anymore.
Terry
February 12, 2019
Always ask them to live cam so that you can see who your really talking with if they refuse they are fake plain and simple
Atill
February 21, 2019

In reply to by Terry

Skype or similar video calls are not reliable means to verify identity either, with various filters, if someone slightly resembles a person, such as a celebrity, they could pass themselves off as said person. I have a relative, very vulnerable widow, who is being scammed by someone claiming to be Kenny Chesney. Hasn't asked for money, or so she says but she truly believes this is him.
Debra T
May 29, 2019

In reply to by Atill

Hi my sister is also being scammed by someone purporting to be Kenny Chesney. She has left her husband and 2 kids and was expecting to be picked up from our local airport this weekend. Guess what.. trouble with the plane. I have reported it to the police in the UK. As far as I know she hasn't parted with any cash.
John
February 25, 2020

In reply to by Debra T

A gay male friend of mine was scammed by someone purporting to be Kenny Chesney. Kenny made all sorts of promises and kept asking for money. He sent Kenny over $50,000. Kenny kept asking for more but my friend was hospitalised and had no way to contact him. Kenny still kept trying to contact him via twitter and email (I was monitoring my friends email accounts. The last contact was when Kenny sent a message to say that little Billy was dying and he needed money for hospital treatment. The scammer took advantage of my friend when he was very vulnerable due to a mental illness.
Don't use your…
February 12, 2019
There is one I’ve been chatting with said he was divorced with a daughter , said he was in the Army . The real one is in military , I knew what was going on , first military personal will not contact you to be a friend they have families friends and a lot of people in their lives . After a while he stared answering wrong or a lot of misspelling words , said he was out on patrol and dropped his phone and broke screen no money to get it fixed could I put a iTunes card in my account and then my acct. number so he could get his hands on what I don’t even have . I told him no so dropped that . Then just yesterday he wanted to reconnect , but his phone wasn’t working yet , ok how in the hell did he get in contact with me , I deleted everything and blocked him . I really feel bad for the real military person ID he used . And hope nothing bad happened to him when it wasn’t his fault . The thing that really bugs me the most I’ve meet some terrific men on Facebook and then some slime balls and some honest to goodness Military .
Wonthappenagain
February 14, 2019

In reply to by Don't use your…

He sounds similar to one that used to talk to me
amy
March 05, 2019

In reply to by Don't use your…

Sounds the same as mine... I've simply been keeping him occupied so that's a tiny bit less time he has for someone who may not k is the basics or think to google... Pretty standard script. Makes me mad too... How to let military know? How to let the person who's pics have been stolen know?
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